My life is absolutely amazing in every area now. Looking back on some situations or parts of my life though, I have overcome things that could break a person. I’ll get personal and share a situation that I was in several years ago that I consider a breaking point. At the time I was married and my son was less than a year old. On the surface our lives looked perfect. We were a highly educated couple with successful careers, nice home, tons of travel to nice locations, a healthy baby etc. Reality behind closed doors was not as perfect.
Without making this entire chapter about the negative experiences, I’ll summarize how my world came crashing down and how the fairy tale came to an end. I came to find out that my husband had been cheating on me the entire duration of our time together so for 9 years, I had been living a life that wasn’t what I thought it was. When I tried to leave him, he would throw me on the wall, strangle me, beat me and lock me in the bathroom so I couldn’t leave. He ripped the phones in the house from the wall if I managed to call 911. He slashed my tires so I couldn’t drive away. He slashed the tires of the jogging strollers so I couldn’t go running with the baby thinking that that way I wouldn’t look attractive to other males. He tried to stop me from going to the gym and I wasn’t allowed to have any male friends. The last and one of the worst violent episodes happened after I returned home from a business trip with my infant son.
My husband hadn’t covered his tracks from bringing prostitutes into our home and I was beaten again trying to leave him. This time I managed to call the police for long enough for them to track the call and my husband was arrested and take to jail. After putting the baby to bed, I sat on the living room floor opening mail from the time that I had been gone. The mail made me aware of another reality that I had not known about. My husband had not only not paid our mortgage and bills from our account for months but also put $100,000 of debt in my name and committed tax fraud worth another $100,000 over several years. All of it came as a complete surprise to me. The following day, I filed for divorce and a restraining order and in response, my husband quit his job and all of that debt, taxes that he owed to the Government, the overdue bills and taking care of our son was on me. As I got home from the Court House, more devastating news followed. I was let go from my position at my job at Johnson & Johnson due to reorganization. There were other horrible things to add that happened but you can picture that my world had crashed already at that point.
That night, I let myself cry and feel all the emotions of disappointment, anger, hurt, betrayal and being scared. For about an hour. Then I looked at my innocent baby boy and knew that I didn’t have any time to be down but instead had to make miracles happen. I also knew that the only way that I could do this was if I believed that I could. I focused on believing that everything would not only be ok but that life would be amazing again. I believed that I could get another great job, pay off the debt that was wrongfully made my responsibility, take care of the baby by myself and start over with a clean slate. I believed with every cell in my body, with all my spirit. I let nothing or no one get me down and I grew to be the strongest me that I had been up until that point in life.
Believing made all the difference. I got the amazing leadership position that I believed I would get and although I had to travel a lot, it allowed me the ability to pay off the debt and do it quickly, provide a good life for my son and get over what felt like the end of the world. I did it all with no help as my ex husband hasn’t been employed since then and was diagnosed with an illness that makes it unsafe for him to be around a child. I believed that although that life that I thought would last forever was over, I could make life amazing again and that is what I did. That is what I do every single day of life, through the times that have felt difficult and through the days that already feel like a blessing when I open my eyes.
To truly understand the power of my mind and the power of believing has taken me years. I understood that believing was necessary to make my goals and dreams come true but I have since then taken it to another level. I have learned to speed up the process by making my goals very specific with as much detail as possible and then by attaching strong feelings to my goals. I tested this out earlier this year to see if I could make anything happen if I truly put all my faith in it and in myself. I gave myself one day and a very specific goal of bringing in $10,000 that day. I had no idea how I was going to make this happen and no plan before I set the goal in the morning. I visualized bringing in the amount that day and I believed that I could do it and I went about my busy workday as usual. I dropped off my taxes with my accountant that morning and when I checked my email afterwards, I got a message about a modeling job that paid $3,000. The client secured me for that job within an hour. I was still $7,000 short at the end of the workday but I didn’t let that stress me out. Instead I re-enforced the feelings of how amazing it would feel to know that I was able to meet my goal. At 6:30pm I got a call from my accountant that I got a tax return of $11,000. The excitement that I felt knowing that I achieved and beat my goal was the same feeling that I felt that morning when I set the goal and decided to just believe that I could do it. I felt and knew that it was not only possible but could be effortless to achieve my goals.
Why did I share these things from my own life? To let you know that if I can do it, you too can do anything if you believe! And when I say anything, I mean anything. Whether you are facing a crisis, big changes, scared about your future or are wanting to do something amazing in life, believe in yourself and in your goals and you will get where you want to be and achieve everything that you want to achieve and more. Think about the people in your life and you’ll realize that the people who always seem to be down and have problems also lack faith in themselves and sometimes in everything in life while the successful and happy people that you know are very self confident and believe without a doubt. The only limits in life are the limits that we create for ourselves. Read that sentence again, the only limits in life are the limits that we create for ourselves. Choose to believe and live amazing!