Something I like to describe as an “itch” to DO better and BE better. Although it took every little bit of strength and courage I had, I decided to act on it. Terrified of the unknown, but equally as uncomfortable with where I was sitting at the time, I contacted a therapist and my life hasn’t been the same since. I explored things that were holding me back, wounds that needed to be healed, and pain that had to be addressed. By doing this I was able to be free and allow myself to grow, heal, and explore what I really wanted out of this wonderful journey we call life! There was a two-year period of time in which I cried almost every single day.
After all I was forced to look at things that I had chosen to ignore my entire life. Things that had caused me so much pain that I learned to shut myself off and become numb. Being unable to feel had become my coping mechanism and truthfully for a long period of time it served me well. It allowed me to survive certain circumstances without turning to drugs, alcohol or any other outside sources but unwinding this way of surviving was the most challenging task I have ever faced. I have always wished I was able to explain what kept me showing up to those appointments every Thursday despite how difficult they were but something in me wanted more out of life and although I considered quitting many times I am so thankful I never did.
I faced plenty of opposition along the way but I chose to stick my head down and do the work I had set out to do and decided not to omit pieces of me to make others comfortable. Not everyone in my life at that time is still there and that’s ok with me and truthfully, very necessary. Not everyone is meant to be in your life forever. Some are there for a short time. Perhaps it’s to teach you a lesson or to help you see what you want and don’t want. What you’re willing to accept and what you’re not. It is ok to outgrow people. It’s ok to have a life that’s going in a different direction. Friends, family, and experiences are all part of your journey. They make you who you are and that’s what makes you unique!
Never be afraid to ask for help. We are not super humans. We are real women, living real lives and dealing with real issues. It all starts with YOU! When you are healthy and happy you have the power to get exactly what it is you want out of life! Making the decision to invest in myself and in my future slowly began to give me a confidence to go after more and more and I promise it will do the same for you.
This journey started to spill over into all aspects of my life, and I began to slowly take care of myself physically. Adding fitness and healthy eating to my life has given me a confidence and a strength that I had never known, and will never take for granted. I had horrible eating habits and the last place you would ever find me was a gym! I was eating fast food and sugar all the time and had no real idea of how bad I was actually feeling until I started eating “clean”.
I still enjoy indulging in those things on occasion, but they are no larger a part of my regular diet. I feel better, look better, and feel more confident when I am feeding my body what it needs and what it deserves which is proper nutrition. I have lost over 25 lbs. over the course of my journey as well as gaining a ton of love and value for myself. It’s nice being able to slip right into a pair of jeans, (anyone who tells you it isn’t, is lying), but at the end of the day for me it’s about taking care of myself and teaching my daughter why it is important for her to do the same.
Fitting into clothes is just a bonus! There are ups, downs, highs and lows. Easy days and hard days, but that’s the beauty of life. It’s not the number of times you get knocked down, but how many times you stand back up! I said “No, thank you” to the hand I was dealt, and you can too! You get one shot at this like ladies! Just one and if you choose to do it right I am confident that once is enough!